Hi, you don’t know me, and I’m too shy to send this un-anon, but I just wanted to say how much I love your writing! You seem like a pretty cool person, to boot, so I’ma just quietly follow you if that’s okay. I go back to lurking now.

! I’ve, never gotten anonymous fanmail before, ohgosh. 

Aw, thank you anon!  That really brightened my day rather considerably and I needed a boost, you’re the best ❤

(I’m not scary I promise, it took me like six weeks to gather the courage to talk to my favorite artist, ‘cause I’m really just a shy geek like everyone else ^^)

Hey, there’s heterosexism/heterosexist as an alternative for homophobic that doesn’t let people use the “but they’re not scared” argument?

I mean, yes, but (in my experience) that’s a niche term used by people already fighting for equal rights, not people who think gay marriage will pull the country apart. The type of person who uses “not wanting gay people to get married doesn’t mean we’re scared of them” as a counter-argument won’t have heard of heterosexism.  

Maybe it’s the area I live in (conservative Christian rural middle America) but I see that “we’re not SCARED of them, we LOVE them!” excuse of an “argument” all the time because homophobia is still the first used word, and it’s easier to say that than to explain why they think it’s okay to impose their religious beliefs on other citizens in a country that isn’t supposed to favor any religion.

But yes, you’re right, that term does exist, as relatively unknown as it is.