lntternetexplorer:

claphne:

imagine: a court system where you do not know the gender, race, sexual orientation, wealth, name, ect. of the person being charged

think of how different the punishments would be

this is such a good idea though like think of how unbiased the judgement of the jury would be? i honestly dont understand why no ones ever thought of this before i mean why do the jury even need to see the criminal anyway, they’re judging the person on their actions not their appearance.

thearcanetheory:

fuckingrecipes:

DO YOU HAVE COMPANY COMING OVER, BUT YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE OR YOUR MOLD EXPERIMENTS OR CAT PISS OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT?

WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME BRILLIANT, BECAUSE THIS SHIT ISN’T EDIBLE, BUT IT’LL MAKE YOUR HOUSE SMELL LIKE A GODDAMN CHURCH CHOIR SINGING HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH IN YOUR NASAL PASSAGE! (YOU SHOULD GET RID OF WHATEVER’S STINKING UP YOUR HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE AS WELL, MORON)

RUN YOUR CLASSY ASS OVER TO THE STORE AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PREPARED FOR THE MIND-FUCK OF THIS SHIT. YOU’LL WANT  1 ORANGE, A SMALL BAG OF CRANBERRIES, 3 CINNAMON STICKS, GROUND CLOVES, NUTMEG, 2 LEMONS, ROSEMARY AND VANILLA.

THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THAT YOU CAN COOK, BECAUSE CLASSY-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS NEED VARIETIES IN THEIR LIFE!
THE FIRST IS ‘CHRISTMAS’ AND THE SECOND DOESN’T HAVE A DAMN NAME, BUT IT’S FUCKING WONDERFUL.

ONLY HAVE ONE POT OF THIS SHIT GOING, IT’S CRAZY POWERFUL.

“CHRISTMAS”
CHOP UP THE ORANGE, SKIN AND ALL, BECAUSE YOU DON’T JOKE AROUND WITH THIS SORT OF SHIT.
USE YOUR WARRIOR STRENGTH TO BREAK THE CINNAMON STICKS IN HALF, LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF SNAPPING THE FEMURS OF DRAGONS BEFORE YOU SUCKED THE MARROW OUT. image
THROW THE ORANGE AND CINNAMON STICK PIECES INTO THE POT, OR IF YOU’RE NOT CONFIDENT WITH YOUR AIM, YOU CAN SET THEM GENTLY INSIDE. SHOVE A SMALL SPOONFUL OF NUTMEG AND A SMALL SPOONFUL OF CLOVES INTO THE POT.

THEN FILL THAT FUCKER UP WITH WATER UNTIL THERE’S ONLY AN INCH OF LEEWAY BETWEEN THE WATER AND EDGE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A DAREDEVIL MOTHERFUCKER. image

NOW SET YOUR STOVE TO A LOW-MEDIUM SETTING, AND LEAVE IT SITTING THERE TO MARINATE IN IT’S OWN QUIET ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. DON’T COVER THIS FUCKER, BECAUSE THE SMELL OF IT IS GOING TO INVADE YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUSE.

THAT WHICH WILL NOT BE NAMED

THE OTHER VERSION OF BOILING POTPOURRI  ONLY HAS LEMONS, ROSEMARY SPRIGS AND VANILLA.

RIP THE LEMON INTO CHUNKS WHILE SOLVING THREE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES IN YOUR HEAD AND YELLING AT YOUR FLATMATE TO LEAVE YOUR OTHER EXPERIMENTS ALONE, THEN BE A CHAMPION BY NOT USING A MEASURING TOOL WHEN SPLASHING 1 TABLESPOON OF VANILLA INTO THE POT.

TOSS IN THE ROSEMARY SPRIGS AFTER YOU’VE STARED THEM INTO SUBMISSION.
image
FILL THAT SUCKER WITH WATER AND PUT IT ON THE HEAT.  

YOU LEAVE IT ON FOR 2 HOURS AT THE START OF THE DAY, THEN TURN IT ON AGAIN AN HOUR BEFORE GUESTS GET TO YOUR HOME AND LEAVE IT ON ALL EVENING.
TAKE A WHIFF UP CLOSE EVERY FEW HOURS, BECAUSE THE FRUIT WILL START TO SMELL WEIRD AT THE END OF THE DAY AND THAT’S WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF.

WHEN YOUR GUESTS ARRIVE THEY’LL HAVE TO STEP BACK AND EXCLAIM “HOLY MOTHERFUCKING TITS, THIS IS ONE CLASSY HOME”

Not gonna lie, I’m mostly reblogging this because reading it is so thoroughly enjoyable.

a-laluna:

ingredients:

4 large or extra large eggs
8 1/2 ounces Nutella 

Directions:

1. Grease a 6 or 7 inch round pan. Then line with parchment paper on sides and on bottom. Preheat oven to 350F. Beat eggs on highest speed with stand mixer until about triple in volume, about 6 minutes. The egg consistency is the key to making this recipe work, so don’t try to save time on this step. Eggs must be beaten until triple in volume as that is what creates the cake.
2. Measure out Nutella into a glass bowl. Microwave Nutella for about 20 seconds to make it softer. Add in 1/3 of the egg mixture. Gently stir with a spatula in the same clockwise direction until all of the egg is mixed in and no streaks remain. Then add another 1/3 of egg mixture and fold again until no egg streaks remain. Pour in remaining third and make sure to scrape the foam that sticks to the mixing bowl into the batter and stir until no streaks remain. Make sure to do this in 3 batches because otherwise the whipped eggs may lose too much of the air that has been whipped into them if you try to do it all at once.
3. Pour batter into pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes until knife inserted comes out clean. Let cake cool completely before removing from pan and cutting and serving.

genericnerd

ladydragon76:

twistmalchik:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

booklandreeve:

So here’s what you can do:

  • Like/reblog/share this. Send me asks. Let me know there’s some interest because I’m ready to do this, but I need to know there’s support out there for the idea. I’m not trying to make an app for just one person.
  • Well, okay, so originally the idea was because I really want this app. But there have got to be other people like me out there.

i don’t have a smart phone, but if i did, i would want an app that pops and goes “THE SEA WILL RUN RED WITH BLOOD”

mostly because my period ain’t a happy time. in fact, that’s when my dysphoria is at its worst, because it’s my body reminding me that it hates me. a monthly reminder that this isn’t the body i wanted.

so i’d want an app that’s SUPER sarcastic about everything.

I’d love something like this.

My current app has flowers and pink and shit.

But at least it’s customizable enough that it pops up with “geyser watch” when I’m expecting to start bleeding.

THIS!  OMG THIS!  Ok, I have a VAGUELY regular cycle, but every month I go, ok, I started today, so next month around THIS week I should start, and guess what happens next month?  Yeah. I forget.

So, yeah. I’ve gone through the apps, even the pay ones, LOOKING for something that will just give me a calendar PRIVATE and away from the main phone calendar but minus all the luteal phase and basal body temp crap. I’ve got kids.  I’m done.  Hubby’s been spayed.  I just want to know when the red flood is nigh, and a sassy, sarcastic app would be EXACTLY what I am after.  Please dear gods, someone link me the kickstarter.  I’ll toss $10 or so at it. (Holidays, man, all I can afford, but I’d even pay a buck or two for the app, honestly, free is just icing.)

YES PLEASE

I have that stupid flower one, and I so so wish I could customize the way it looks more. I’d love something without a stupid flower on “fertile” days, like the only reason any menstruating person would want an app is to know when to get pregnant. I want to know estimated ovulation and fertility, because of trying to track a few symptoms, but I don’t want to be HAPPY about it.