* who has shipped Spirk since that night in 1967 that Amok Time first aired * and helped storm NBC to keep TOS on the air for a 3rd season * and wrote fanfic way back in the day * and was privileged to be around for the earliest days of fandom, when Leonard used to come to your house if that’s where the fan club was meeting and sit on the sofa with you in that Spock hair cut and eat cake
All of you who are writing TOS/AOS fan fiction and creating fan art now: remember, YOU are the ones shaping the traditions of fandom. You have inherited the kingdom. Bless you for keeping it vibrant, growing, alive. In fifty years, you will be the ones who are remembered for molding it and handing it down to the future. It probably doesn’t feel like now, but you are making history.
Your current addiction to TOS and the feels you get when you contemplate the love between Jim and Spock will be with you for life. It won’t always be in the forefront; you will sometimes go years, sometimes go a decade, without Star Trek being more than a passing thought. But then something will remind you and every consuming feeling you feel right now will come rushing back, every bit as powerful and deep and strong as it is today. All there, right where you left it.
The friendships you make in fandom will be with you for life. Like all friendships, they will wax and wane as the focus of your life shifts over time, but you will always be able to pick up the thread. You will — to give you a hypothetical example — be 77 years old and discover Tumblr and get a rush of Spirk feels after a decade of not giving TOS a thought, and contact your 83-year-old fangirl friend in the nursing home, to whom you haven’t spoken in several years. You will open the conversation with, “So, Jim and Spock love each other and that just makes me so happy.” And your friend in the nursing home will sigh and say, “Yes. They do love each other. It’s such a comfort.”
That look that Jim and Spock give each other, of absolute adoration and acceptance and love? That’s real. It’s rare, but it’s real. One of my greatest joys in life is to see my son and his husband give each other looks like that. Of course I don’t know you; I don’t know your strengths and struggles or your place on the spectrum of gender or anything about your sexuality or what you look like or what your life has taught you to believe about yourself, but I do know this: YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND LOOKED AT THE WAY JIM AND SPOCK LOOK AT EACH OTHER. Please don’t accept less than that in your life.
The future of our planet does not seem very hopeful at the moment. But please remember that when Gene created Star Trek, the world was in turmoil and the future seemed very bleak. Star Trek is, was, always shall be about hope. Reach for it. When TOS first aired, we hoped to see some form of a Starfleet on the horizon in our lifetimes. That vision must be passed on to you. Do it. Make the world worthy of launching the human race out into space. CREATE STARFLEET.
You are all creative and funny and amazing. Far more amazing than you know. Be kind to yourselves. Live long and prosper, kids.
Tags are in reference to my first bullet point. Meant as a kudos to your work, but feel free to untag yourself if you don’t want to be linked to my ramblings; I won’t be offended! (Also, this extends to a thousand other artists and writers out there who deserve kudos. tag at will.)
I am re blogging this ‘open letter’ tonight because I wrote and posted it one short week, and 5324 notes ago.
When I wrote it, it was for myself, because I honestly thought it would be read by the people I tagged (maybe) and no one else. I had 5 followers, at least one of which was a spam bot.
I could not have imagined how that post would lead to the kindness and welcome I have received here, to my new fandom grandkids, my very own Star Trek grandma portrait, all the conversations and sharing of memories and making of new friends.
Tonight I just want to say thanks to all of you for being so wonderful. For keeping fandom wonderful.
…Well that got a little longer/more weird than I expected. Thank you for the prompt, hope you enjoy!
99 – Tantric sex
Rating: E
Pairing: Leo/Raph
Warnings: Turtlecest, very new agey and limited understanding of tantra and neotantra, playing fast and loose with spirituality and souls, canon-typical violence
—
“Leo, what’re we gonna do?!”
Leonardo glared at the floor. Shredder had their entire family. He and Raphael had barely escaped the attack. If they couldn’t get them back…
“Don’t phase out on me man!”
Leonardo exhaled and lifted his head. “I’m not phasing out, I’m thinking. Donnie said he would need all of us at once for his plan to work, right? Five ninjas to sacrifice at once to absorb their strength.”
Raphael waved his hand in the air. “Yeah, so?”
“So we have time,” Leo said. “Shredder doesn’t know where we are or he’d already be here, right?”
Raphael nodded, shifting his weight. “Right.”
“We will need to be a united force,” Leonardo said. He took a step towards his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. “It might be the hardest mission we’ve ever had.”
Raphael’s eyes widened, then he smirked. “So let’s go.”
“Not yet,” Leonardo said. “Shredder knows we’ll come for them. They’ll be well guarded and well contained. We will need to be united as a team, more than we ever have been before.”
“How long do you think we’ll have?” Raphael asked.
“Two days, three maybe,” Leonardo said. “C’mon, let’s get to the dojo.”
—
“This,” Raphael panted, “Is not working.” He touched his head where the butt of Leonardo’s katana had slammed into him. “I know you think this is gonna make us more united or something, but I think it’s just giving us matching bruises.”
Leonardo sighed and looked down at his reflection in his blades. “I know. Master Splinter’s records on this technique don’t seem complete.”
“So let’s forget this and go,” Raphael said, spinning his sai and holstering them. “We take them down, we break Splinter and Donnie and Mikey out and we take Shredder down. We can do this.”
“No,” Leonardo said, “We can’t. Not right now. Just the two of us, if we aren’t a united force, we’ll be getting our souls sucked out instead of taking anyone down.” He sighed and shook his head. “Look, I … remember seeing something in one of Master Splinter’s scrolls.”
Raphael shrugged. “I’ll try anything.”
Leonardo nodded, then looked around the dojo. “I need to do some research. You go rest for a few hours, I’m going to go over the texts I saw and prepare.”
Raphael frowned at him. “Whatever dude,” he said, then turned and left.
Leonardo sheathed his katanas, rubbed a hand over his face, and went for Splinter’s private collection.
—
When Raphael came back, Leonardo had prepared a corner of the dojo for them. Pillows to relax in, dim lighting, incense to help focus the mind. Leonardo heard his brother’s steps and exhaled, holding the moment until his lungs began to burn before standing and turning.
“Raph,” he said.
Raphael looked around. “…You’re freakin’ me out a little.”
Leonardo only nodded, then started stripping out of his pads, leaving only his mask and his wrist bands.
“What are you doing?”
“We won’t be fighting,” Leonardo said. “Go ahead, we won’t need these.”
Raphael frowned at him but followed Leonardo’s example, taking everything off that Leonardo had.
“Sit with me,” Leonardo said, gesturing Raphael to join him. Raphael sat down across from him and Leonardo reached his hands out. Raphael eyed them without moving.
Leonardo looked at his hands, then lifted his gaze. “This technique is supposed to unite souls.”
Raphael shifted a little. “…Unite souls?”
“Yes. But it’s … intense.” Leonardo drew his hands back. “Raph, I need to know…” He couldn’t quite look at brother. “Do you remember the day we kissed?”
There was a beat of silence, then Raphael snorted. “Kissed? That’s what we’re calling it now?”
“I–fine.” Leonardo grit his teeth. “Remember the day we made out?”
Another beat of silence, longer. “I … yeah.”
Leonardo’s hands clenched into fists. “This would be like that. Only, more.”
The longest pause yet. “Um.” Raphael rubbed his knees. “You mean, like … doing … it?”
Leonardo looked up. Raphael was staring at him, face flushed. “Kind of,” he said, in a whisper, and it felt like a scream in the surrounding silence of the dojo. “So we need to both be okay with this. It needs to be open and consenting to work.”
“What … is it, exactly?” Raphael asked.
“It’s from a philosophy called tantra,” Leonardo said, then shrugged one shoulder. “I think. Master Splinter’s texts are in a language I don’t know, but there are interpretations and notes in English about, uh, two people using the technique during…”
Raphael shifted. “Look, man … I–I don’t know…”
“Raph.” Leonardo clenched his eyes shut. “I’m just as scared as you are.”
Silence.
“Y–you are?”
Leonardo swallowed and nodded. “I don’t know how to feel. And I’m scared.”
“What, that Spliter’ll find out?” Raphael snapped.
Leonardo flinched. “No,” he murmured. “I’m sorry I … Raph, I’m scared because, I want to do that with you again.” He made himself open his eyes and look up.
Raphael’s eyes were wide. “…You do?”
Leonardo nodded.
“What if Splinter finds out?”
“If we don’t get him back, he won’t be around to care.”
“Oh, so this is just about rescuing them.” The edge was back in Raphael’s voice.
“No!” Leonardo protested. “Or–yes–but–but after–I would still want…”
“Leo.”
Leonardo snapped his mouth shut.
“I … I can’t do this, man.”
Leonardo felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Oh,” he managed.
“Ah, shit, don’t look like that,“ Raphael sighed. “I mean, I can’t do this not knowing thing.” He twisted his wrist ties around. “Before we do … this, I need to know.”
“Know?”
“That we want the same thing here. I need to know.”
“Are you saying you would really want to do that again?”
Raphael inhaled deeply before letting the breath go again. “I’ve wanted it every single day,” he said, meeting Leonardo’s eyes.
Leonardo couldn’t breathe again, but for an entirely different reason. He swallowed a few times. “S–so this would be okay. This method.”
“Yeah,” Raphael said. “Look, Leo…”
“Raph, right now I just want to get our family home safely.”
“I know,” Raphael said. “So do I. So let’s do this, and figure everything else out later.”
“Yeah,” Leonardo said, and finally reached his hand out and felt Raphael’s fingers brush against his.
“So how does this work?” Raphael asked, leaning in. His breath was a few beats quicker than it had been before their fingers touched.
“It’s about connection,” Leonardo murmured. “We want to maintain eye contact. Everything moves slowly, it’s not about a goal. It’s about experiencing a moment, together, and everything it contains. Nothing exists outside of us and this moment.”
Raphael met his eyes. Leonardo gave him a small smile. “Some practitioners have reported achieving a higher plane, and experiencing a true oneness with their partner, seeing and feeling as the other does for a time. The deeper the bond between the participants, the more they are able to connect. Breathe with me,” he murmured, and felt his brother’s next inhale with his. “Focus on our breath, steady and unified.”
The sounds of their breathing became the only thing in the room. Maintaining the eye contact was difficult for both of them, Leonardo could tell, from the way Raphael was blinking. He felt the same urge to look away, feeling vulnerable in such a new and uncertain moment. He reminded himself that this was Raphael, his brother, who’d been with him through the best and worst moments of his life. There was no reason to fear this moment.
“What now?” Raphael asked.
“Whatever we want, as long as we remain connected,” Leonardo said. “There is no goal except connection. Raph, I’ve never felt closer to anyone than you.”
“Right now?”
“Our whole lives,” Leonardo said. “You’ve always been at my side. You push me when I need it. You pull me down when I go to far. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Raphael’s cheeks flushed darker, but Leonardo was rewarded with a small smile. “Same,” he said. Leonardo felt one of Raphael’s fingers brush closer to his leg and he took his brother’s hand and guided it there.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I told you. Whatever we want to do, together.” He put his hand on Raphael’s thigh and lifted the other to his head. His fingers slipped under Raphael’s mask and he waited long enough for his brother to protest if he wanted to, but when his breath stayed steady and united, Leonardo pushed the mask up and off, letting it fall to the floor.
Their breath caught together, stilling for a moment. Leonardo had forgotten how bad the scars around Raphael’s eyes were and wondered what the last time he’d seen his brother without his mask had actually been.
Then Raphael was reaching up to Leonardo’s mask and doing the same thing. As he leaned in, Leonardo pushed forward into a kiss that caught both of them by surprise. Raphael froze, fingers on Leonardo’s mask, then they melted against each other and the mask was pulled away. Breath picked up and their hands were on each other, tugging them closer together, shells together and the echo of that night was between them and everything it had contained and everything else it hadn’t right in front of them, and Leonardo felt his tail start to curl forward–
“Slow,” Leonardo managed, the single word breathed against Raphael’s mouth. His heart was racing. “Slow,” he repeated, for himself as much as Raphael. “My breath with yours, your breath with mine.”
“Slow is gonna get old really fast,” Raphael said, but his tone was amused.
Leonardo felt his face heat and he couldn’t quite stop the smile. “Yeah,” he said. “But it’ll be worth it.”
Raphael nodded. “For the others.”
“No,” Leonardo said. “For us.”
Raphael stared at him, then leaned in for another kiss. This one was gentler and this time, wandering hands didn’t stray. Having his eyes open during a kiss was strange, Leonardo reflected as the moments passed, but when it put it in perspective with his life it was barely a blip.
More moments passed and their breath stayed united. Touches were light but there was no hesitation as they explored. Leonardo felt time easing away, replaced by a swirl of now that filled him completely.
When he next moved, he had no idea how much time had passed. The world was him and Raphael and he needed to be closer. He lifted up, moving forward. Raphael pushed himself up to kneel, drawing Leonardo into his lap. Leonardo straddled him, pressing back into the kiss.
His tail curled forward and he did nothing to stop it.
“Raph,” he breathed, and felt that the same thing was happening to his brother, “I love you.”
“Love ya too, Leo,” Raphael murmured, and smirked. “Ya dork.”
Leonardo smiled. “Slow?” he asked, rocking his hips forward.
Raphael gasped but he nodded. “Slow,” he said, holding the eye contact as they moved together. Their endless moment continued, nothing but them and their breath in the world. “God, Leo,” Raphael murmured. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
“I know what you mean,” Leonardo whispered. He had a sense of Raphael and what he was feeling, smelling, tasting. He felt like Raphael could see out of his own eyes. The air around them felt alive, swirling in close patterns and rhythms.
Weaving.
Pieces of their souls, woven together.
Nothing could stop them like this.
Bliss overtook them, but it didn’t end after the first pulse. The most vulnerable parts of their bodies throbbed and pressed together, exposed between them and protected in their endless, hidden moment. It felt like it would never end, with their eyes locked and hands clasped, taking each breath as one body, one soul.
The heat that finally spilled between them felt more like an afterthought in the utter rapture of the moment, but it was the that instant that caused their breath to falter and break apart and suddenly they were back in the dojo, panting unevenly and staring at each other.
Leonardo could feel Raphael’s heartbeat in his chest, or was it the other way around?
“We’re ready,” he said, and stood, pulling Raphael to his feet.
—
They fought with the shadows of the stains of their pleasure still on their shells, unconcerned about the judgment of the world, if anyone would even notice beneath the grit and blood of their battle. Leonardo reflected, as he ducked to avoid a sweep of Raphael’s sai into the neck of a soldier behind him, that taking on this enemy with the senses and strength of two almost felt easy. Freeing their family and escaping back into the sewers only seemed to take minutes, even though it lasted over an hour.
Donatello and Michaelangelo didn’t seem to notice anything unusual, instead cheering for their brothers and thanking them once they were safe.
“We weren’t going to leave you in there,” Raphael said, and then they were alone with Splinter.
“My sons,” the aged master said, looking at them with a frown, and then slowly, “What have you done?”
Leonardo felt the connection with Raphael start to weaken. It was never going to last forever, but he held on as much as he could for this moment. “We did what we had to, Master Splinter.”
“I can sense your connection,” Splinter murmured. “This did not happen in one day.”
“No, Master Splinter,” Leonardo said, bowing his head. A brief thought–his?–and then Raphael’s fingers were wrapping around his in answer. “I understand if…”
“Leonardo,” Splinter said, voice gentle. “Raphael.” He put a hand on each other their shoulders. “Are you happy?”
“Yes, father,” Raphael said.
Splinter looked between them, then smiled. “Then I am happy for you. What you have achieved here is no minor feat. Know that, my sons. I am happy, and I am proud.”
“I thought you would be angry,” Leonardo admitted, voice quiet, and he felt Raphael’s grip tighten.
“Surprised, perhaps,” Splinter said. “But never angry with you for finding a deeper connection. We are unique in this world, my sons. I would never fault you for something that hurts no one. There is too much evil in this world, too much pain.”
“Thank you, father,” Leonardo said, looking up with a small smile.
“I will not tell Donatello or Michaelangelo,” Splinter added. “Or anyone else, unless you ask me to.”
“We’re still figuring this out,” Leonardo said, looking at Raphael. Raphael met his eyes and for one more breath, Leonardo felt the shared moment before it faded. “I’m sure it won’t be perfect.”
Raphael snorted. “Nothing is perfect, Leo. And I reserve the right to punch your lights out when you’re being a stuck up ass.”
“And I reserve the right to knock you on your shell when you’re being a hotheaded moron,” Leonardo retorted, but he was grinning. “C’mon, I bet Mikey’s already got pizza in the oven.”
[Image is a banner with text transposed over several cartoon hearts. The text reads: Polyshipping Day – February 1st]
What is Polyshipping Day?
A 24-hour celebration of OT3+es and positive portrayals of polyamory in
fandom occurring on the 1st of every month. Give neglected polyships
some love! Resolve love triangles “the right way”. Portray massive poly cuddle
piles of people who all love each other. Platonic threesomes where all partners
feel important and it’s not trashy male gaze MFF “the girls just wanna please
their man” crap. Weave intricate polycules that span a team or a whole
community. Show non-mutual polyamory (A+B, B+C, but not A+C) and open
relationships in a healthy, non-adulterous light. Spread the <83!
This is open to all fandoms and to original works, and to any degree and
content rating you wish. Sexual, romantic, queerplatonic – any form of
polyamorous/polygamous relationship is welcome and loved here. Just keep it
positive, healthy, and consensual.
All of the content posted on Polyshipping Day gets queued up for reblogging
on the Polyshipping Day blog during the month, and added to tags by fandom
within the blog to help you find your favorite polyships any time.
How do I participate?
If you have no ideas for something to make, of course our promptstag is always a
great resource. Additionally, for February’s Polyshipping Day the optional
theme is going to be “Lavender”. How you want to use theme – a dominant color? A sensory detail? A plant motif? Something else? – is up to you!
Whether you create something within the theme or not, we
accept all forms of media, including:
Fanfiction
Fanart
Playlists/fanmixes
AMVs
Askbox
games/mini-prompts
Cosplay photos or videos
Image/photo
sets
Spend the
day taking requests or commissions
Other things I’m sure we haven’t thought of!
And of course, original works and works not in English are more than welcome
too. It’s always exciting to see Polyshipping Day branch out further and
further!
Whatever you create, just put it in the #polyshipping day tag
(don’t worry, we track #polyshippingday too, just in case) or submit it
straight to the blog!
But I’m not a content creator or I don’t have much time.
No worries! There are plenty of ways you can participate, such as:
The more the merrier should be the obvious theme here, so we’d love help
getting as many fandoms involved in Polyshipping Day as possible!
Any other rules I should know about?
We try to keep it simple, but there are a few:
Content should be new – it doesn’t have to be something you made this month or specifically for Polyshipping Day, but it should be something that’s not appeared on the blog before.
Please only post your own content, except, obviously, for reblogs.
If you really want to share something and can’t find it on tumblr, try to get the creator’s permission first, and regardless, post it as a link to the source. If the site in question has an official Tumblr posting button like AO3 does, please use that.
Please tag
your not safe for work for the benefit of those scrolling through the tags (protip: use // after the tag if you’re worried about spambots)
This blog is technically PG-13, so anything that is obviously pornographic or very gory should be behind a read more if we’re going to reblog it.
If you’re posting up more than three things to the tag, especially all for the same fandom, try to spread them out over the day instead of posting them all at once.
If you’d like to put a post in the polyshipping day tag but not have the blog add it to the queue, just put a tag to the effect of #pday no
Official cutoff time is around midnight between the 2nd and 3rd Pacific Time – anything posted after that will be drafted to be posted the next month instead.
Feel free to message us if you have any questions not answered here!
Now get out there and spread the word! <83
I feel like Ratchet/Twins may get some love this day….
I’ve seen a lot of these around but I wanted to make like a super challenge. Some of these will have been seen before in other challenges. You can add or change kinks, change the order, do one pairing or a few. Interpret this in whatever way you want. Some of the things on here you might not have heard of so there will be a link attached to it to explain what it is. If you post your art/writing/ect on here, please tag it as 100kinks so I can see what you guys come up with. Enjoy! Here is the list of explained ones but they the link will also be next to the kink. (X)
I’ve had a bee in my bonnet since this incident the other day, and I figure it’s probably time to get it out of my system.
Darkfic is not a new phenomenon. It’s as old as the hills. For as long as there have been fic writers, there have been fic writers using the medium to explore themes that are taboo in mainstream fiction. Torture and gore, death and destruction, rape and sexual abuse. Every author has their own motives and inspirations for the content they produce, and there’s no ‘average’ darkfic writer. But what I can tell you – anecdotally, from a full decade’s worth of experience drifting in and out of various darkfic communities – is that when you involve yourself with these authors, you start meeting survivors. Lots of survivors. In what I think it’s fair to call a statistically significant concentration.
For some, their survivor status is incidental to their controversial interests; for others of us, past trauma and mental illness are intrinsically tied to what we read and write. Darkfic can be a lifeline, a validation, a liberation, a profound and unbeatably intense catharsis for the shit we’ve got stored in our heads. Darkfic enclaves within fandom are places where we can air our darkest and most desperate fears and fantasies in a safe, supportive environment, in the company of others who remind us that we are not broken or defective just for wanting the things we want.
And here’s the thing: literally no one in these communities wants to force outsiders to join us. We recognise that our content is stuff that the majority of people don’t want to see, and we do our best to protect the rest of fandom from involuntary exposure by using appropriate trigger warnings. We don’t want to hurt anyone, we don’t want to ruin anyone’s innocence – we just want to be left alone to do our thing. But tumblr callout culture has taught people that “speaking out” against things they don’t like is cool and brave and socially progressive. It has created an environment where virtually the automatic response to distress, discomfort or personal offense is to look for a perpetrator, a culpable oppressive villain to whom the offended party can deliver a vicious “smackdown” while their friends look on and cheer.
I’m not going to argue just now about whether that’s ever an acceptable way to treat people. Regardless of anyone’s personal feelings on callout culture as a whole, there’s an intersection between darkfic and trauma survivors that you guys all need to understand before you go targeting darkfic authors as convenient representatives of everything you think is wrong with the world. So let me lay this out as simply and clearly as I can:
When you oppose darkfic because it “harms survivors”, you are talking directly over large crowds of survivors who will tell you they find darkfic to be a validating, healing experience.
When you claim that darkfic is self-destructive and unhealthy, you are privileging your personal beliefs over the lived experience of other people.
When you accuse darkfic authors of glorifying and supporting real-life abuse, you accuse survivors of glorifying and supporting their own abusers.
When you blame darkfic for supporting rape culture, you are making victims responsible for the actions of their oppressors.
When you set conditions around the creation and enjoyment of darkfic – aka “it’s only okay if you’re a survivor” – you create a culture of coercive disclosure, where survivors are expected to trade their right to privacy for the right to live free of harassment.
When you criticise darkfic authors for using survivor status as an “excuse”, you are locking us out of our own communities and denying our past traumas for the sake of a political argument.
If you are anti-darkfic, you are anti-survivor. I’m sick and tired of watching vulnerable members of my community get harassed and bullied by people who claim to be acting in the interests of survivors. I’m sick of being told that survivors like me aren’t survivors at all, that our very existence is toxic and harmful, that we have no right to speak and be heard on an issue that affects us so intimately.
Anti-darkfic fans, you need to pull back. You need to realise that your comfort and safety, while important, are not more important than the comfort and safety of other people. You need to understand that it is your responsibility to learn how to peacefully coexist alongside people who experience the world differently from you, even if their experiences make you unhappy or uncomfortable. You have no right to ask us to stop existing so that you can feel at ease. You have no right to demand that we prioritise the needs of some survivors over others. You don’t own fandom, and you have no right to dictate who does or doesn’t get to participate.
You are not brave heroes speaking out against the spread of moral degeneracy in fandom. You are bullies, deliberately and systematically targeting trauma survivors with your abusive tactics. It really is that simple. And it needs to stop.
WELL FUCKING PUT.
Addendum: coercive disclosure is not the only reason it’s a terrible idea to draw a line in the sand between survivors and non-survivors liking darkfic. Fiction is a way to explore various aspects of a theme or situation in a controlled, safe environment–including aspects that could never be explored in real life without harming real people. It’s a way to explore, dissect, understand, and rehearse traumas that could befall anyone. For those who’ve actually experienced something similar, it can help them process it, or be an outstretched hand and a voice saying “you aren’t alone; either I know that feel, or I can imagine having that feel if I put myself in your shoes.” For those who haven’t, it’s an outlet for anxiety, a mental preparation, a “what if?” and a “how might someone react to–?” And even the most twisted, fucked-up darkfic is usually an exercise in empathy: empathy for characters we already care about thrown into terrible situations, and also a space outside of actual RL horrors where we can take a deep breath and attempt the kind of radical empathy that lets us understand what drives people to do abhorrent things. As far as the first one goes, I certainly don’t think anyone should be compelled to partake if it distresses them, but I do think that actively discouraging and shaming people for trying to empathize with another’s suffering–even if they go about it badly or the execution is shoddy and distasteful–is utterly toxic behavior. As for the second, the kind that consists of trying to imagine your way into a perpetrator’s shoes: it may make you wildly uncomfortable, but understanding the reasons for a thing is among the best tools for recognizing and preventing real-world evil. Beyond that, dehumanization–even of villains, bullies, and abusers–is a dangerous impulse. No one’s required to empathize with the people who’ve hurt them, but making a fucking policy out of attacking everyone who tries only plants the seeds of further evil and abuse.
And we need these stories. Desperately. One of the reasons noncon/dubcon fic in particular has such a staggering variety of weird, fucked-up, iddy tropes and clumsy/insensitive/offensive executions is that we’re fucking marinating in rape culture and have very few scripts or outlets to talk about it. All of it. Even the ugly, unsavory parts, the impulses we know are wrong, the desires we hate or feel guilty about and can’t discuss without being accused of straight-up validating whatever heinous cultural messages planted them in our subconscious. Even the dumb, unrealistic power fantasies of fighting off rapists, taming rapists and making them love and respect you, walking away unaffected and being able to laugh it off as a wacky misadventure, being comforted by someone whose love (and/or healing cock) will magically fix everything. One person’s insensitive is another person’s escapism; one person’s offensive is another person’s “thank god, I’m not the only one broken enough to have that awful thought.” Fiction–particularly the communities that have formed around fanfiction–is one of the very few no-holds-barred places where we can Fucking Talk About It, without the pressure to speak only in hushed tones and behind closed doors where decent people won’t be exposed to it, or to uphold the image of a perfect model victim who never has ugly, unacceptable thoughts about the ugly mess left behind by an unspeakably ugly act. When you shame and police darkfic in fandom, you are taking that space away from the people who need it the most. You are telling them to their faces that they’re filthy, abnormal, tainted and contagious, and that they need to either shut the fuck up or keep it in the shame closet where it belongs instead of sharing it in public with other people who might understand. You are, in other words, doing the exact thing that’s tied with “I don’t believe you” for first place on the list of What Not To Say To A Survivor Opening Up About Their Abuse. Survivors aren’t the only ones with a tangle of conflicted thoughts, feelings, and neuroses about sexual violence and rape culture who benefit from exploring it in fiction, but you can be damn sure they’re a major constituency. The absolute last thing they need is some white-knight ‘anti’ bullying them into silence with concern-trolling about whether their “coping mechanisms” are “healthy” or whether they’re setting a sufficiently good and wholesome example for teh childrens.
The “only if you’re a survivor using it to cope!” bullshit is also noxious because fiction lets us handle difficult issues through several layers of distance and displacement, isolate particular aspects, transpose them into different but related situations, etc. Just because someone’s not a survivor of the exact thing they’re reading or writing about doesn’t mean they don’t have very real pain they’re trying to process. And again, empathy. I don’t give a shit what your sexual-assault history is; if you read my fucked-up Hydra Trash Party porn about Steve Rogers getting gang-raped by Crossbones & co and staggering away still shouting “FITE ME U PATHETIC ASSHOLES” even though he wants to die inside, and it hits you where you live, I’m fucking glad you found it. If I read your fucked-up Hydra Trash Party porn and hit a line that makes me feel like you’ve plucked something ugly and painful and private directly from my brain, frankly I’ll be even more impressed if it turns out you were extrapolating rather than writing from personal experience. And if your badwrong noncon porn is directly at odds with everything I’ve experienced re: rape and its aftermath? I don’t live inside your head, dude. I don’t know what you’re drawing on or what demons you’re exorcizing. I don’t even know whether you’re writing from firsthand experience that’s dramatically different from mine. All I know is that whoever your target audience is, it ain’t me.
One final note on noncon fic specifically: it works on the exact same principle as consensual nonconsent play IRL. No, the character(s) didn’t consent; neither did the persona being acted out by someone playing the victim in a con-noncon scene. The consent that distinguishes it from real-world violation isn’t between the characters in the fantasy; it’s between author and reader. The back button is the safeword. And in contrast to one of the dangers of IRL con-noncon play, it’s a safeword the author has zero power to override or ignore.
There’s a lot of amazing fanfic writers in the tf fandom, so I wanted to throw a week-long celebration as a way of saying thank you! Starting February 1st, each day of the week is themed after a different type of fanfic, so people can participate by making fanart and promo-ing one of their fave fics for each theme! Those who can’t draw are encouraged to participate too by doing promos, recommendations, and as always, commenting/kudos-ing/ and bookmarking their picks, or contributing in any way you can! It’s all about saying thank-you to the hundreds and hundreds of authors out there that spend their time giving us countless amounts of free content to enjoy.
Feb. 1st: Fluff Feb. 2nd: Angst Feb. 3rd: AU Feb. 4th: Humor/Crack Feb. 5th: One-shot Feb. 6th: Multichapter Feb. 7th: Your choice! BONUS Feb 8th: 18+ Smut day
Tag your contributions as #TFILF and remember to link the fanfic and send your appreciation to the authors too. So please, spread this around and get the word out so we can properly thank the many talented writers in this fandom!
Thatadhdfeel when an adhd reddit thread is how you learn that sitting with your legs up on the chair well into adulthood is an adhd thing.
wait seriously? not sitting in chairs properly is an adhd thing?
(i mean i’d guess it could be a thing for many other reasons but…huh.)
I’ve never seen and can’t find any research on this, but my experience both as ND and in the field is that sensory issues (which come with ADHD, ASD, and SPD) usually lead to unusual sitting and/or standing postures.
Think about it though. Think about a regular standard chair, think what it’s like to sit on it. It’s pretty uncomfortable, right? Wrong! Most people actually have no trouble sitting on regular chairs! that’s why they are designed the way they are! most people can sit on them just fine without squirming or feeling pain or feeling the need to fit their legs onto the seat too!
And if this thought, that chairs aren’t just badly-designed discomfort-items, is as mind-boggling a thought to you as it is to me, you probably aren’t all that neurotypical (I won’t say either way about it being ADHD specific since I don’t have ADHD as far as I know, but I’m not neurotypical).
What the heckie?
I mean, I’m also short, so I just always assumed that was my problem with being comfortable in chairs.
But even in the car, I end up scrunching into the pressure stim of having my legs crossed or under me, so!
yeah this is def an autism/ADHD/etc thing. you see it all the time in coded characters as well
…there’s no WAY neurotypicals can possibly like chairs. Can some people without ADHD or autism chime in?
yeah i have no idea how normal people sit in chairs like that but they seem to like it. i absolutely scrunch up like a goblin if i can get away with it.
Ooh, ditto! Sometimes I can compromise by sitting on just one leg and leaving one foot on the floor, but I think and feel better sitting on both.
what the FUCK so I sit like that because of my ADHD????
well damn
wat. WAT.
does anyone have issues putting their feet down flat while sitting? because, other than not liking to sit on chairs, i also hate putting my feet down flat, /especially/ if it’s on carpet
I don’t have ADHD (though I’m not neurotypical) but I also hate chairs and can’t sit for more than 20 minutes without shifting. I sit cross legged in my office chair until I need to get blood back into my feet. Our animals actually don’t cuddle with me because of this, they cuddle with my partner because she can keep the same position forever.
So, only chiming in because AMC theatres has a lot of theatres (in America at least, can’t speak to anywhere else) with these amazing reclining lounge chairs and they honestly made seeing movies so much more enjoyable. No more careful shifting worrying about getting in someone’s way or kicking someone’s seat or making your seat creak every 20 minutes or be in pain from not moving, it’s the best. For anyone who experiences this, highly recommend.
Verilidaine's Scrapbook 